He uncovered me. In one glance he knew... not my secrets, but that I had them. In one glance he was begging for entry, entreating, asking me to help him understand. I let him watch my teardrops fall. I stood staring, wondering how this simple faith could hurt so much, how having someone care could leave me frozen. I stood staring, my eyes pleading... isn't this naked enough?
The mask I've worn is defrosting. There's no relief, only terror. This is not how it's supposed to feel.
And it scares me.
I scare me.
What do I do when no expectations is asking too much? What do I say when the solitude I've been cultivating threatens to overwhelm me, but for all the wrong reasons? What do I say when I don't know how to let go, but there's nothing to hold onto?
With nothing to hide behind, I am not sure who I am, and I'm losing the courage I thought I had. Can you stand beside me? Not judge, just watch, maybe lend a hand... because I need to take one, even when I say I don't, even when I wish I didn't.
Will you hold me?
It feels like an unveiling, except that I'm alive.
